Woman: Somebody’s really drunk driving down Granton Road…
Dispatcher: Okay, are you behind them or…
Woman: No, I am them.

Yes, it’s true, a Mary Strey called 911 to report a drunk driver. She then proceeded to tell the dispatcher that she was the one who was drunk.

As Jeff Foxworthy said, “True stuff is the funniest stuff.”

If you’d like to caption Ms. Strey’s mugshot, you can do so here.

Transcript:
Dispatcher: 911
Woman:Somebody’s really drunk driving down Granton Road.
Dispatcher: Which way are they going?
Woman:They are going, um…
Dispatcher: Towards Granton or towards Gailsville
Woman:Towards Granton
Dispatcher: Okay, are you behind them or…
Woman:No, I am them.
Dispatcher: You am them?
Woman:Yes, I am them?
Dispatcher: Okay, so you want to call and report that you’re driving drunk?
Woman:Yes
Dispatcher: Okay, what’s your name?
Woman: Mary
Dispatcher: Okay, hold on one second, Mary, okay?
Woman:Okay
Dispatcher: Are you still driving right now?
Woman:Yes
Dispatcher: Do you want to stop driving before you get in an accident?
Woman:Yes, I will stop.
Dispatcher: Okay, are you going to stop right now?
Woman:Okay, I’m stopping.
Dispatcher: Okay, just hang on the phone, okay? What’s your last name, Mary?
Woman:Strey
Dispatcher: Are you stopped right now?
Woman:Yes I am.
Dispatcher: What kind of vehicle do you have, Mary?
Woman:I have a Saturn. Can I take my seatbelt off?
Dispatcher: If you’re stopped.
Woman:Yes, I’m stopped.
Dispatcher: If you’re stopped, that’s fine, yeah.
Woman:I’m in park.
Dispatcher: Okay
Woman:Can I take my seatbelt off?
Dispatcher: Yeah, as long as you’re not driving, as long as you’re not moving.
Woman:Can I turn my car off and just turn the flashers on.
Dispatcher: Yep, that’s fine if you want to turn it off and turn the flashers on, so then we can find you. Okay, just hold on one second again, Mary.